It has been such a long time since I posted something here..From May til now (November)..It is such a long time. And in these days..Happened lots of things. There's a change in our piggie family..Which it is really a headache for me. Not only headache..But deep inside my heart, I do feel hurt as well..There's a change among three of us. I know about the change, and I kept quite..It doesn't mean I don't care at all..It is not like that..Silence is not ignorance..
Piggie family is still a sensitive issue for me to discuss with friends in uni. It seems like a never recover wound in the heart. Friends do ask me: three of u how? My answer is always: Don't know..I don't want anyone to touch on my unrecover wound. I feel lost. I lost a friend. A friend that helped me a lot when I am in depression. A friend who went through with me. Not a passer-by, but a true friend. Perhaps, I am not the true friend for her, as for she has lots of true friend with her whom she had more memories with. But, she is the one in the chapter of my life.
I choose not to comment much on the change of the relationship between me and her for I really can't bear with it. I can't take this. Until now, I still can't take this. That day, I felt so upset for I saw a personal msg she posted in MSN : Chu Hoong, you are the only reason for me to go back tpg. The very moment I saw this, I felt there's a sword slashes my heart. And it bleeds. I felt like crying. Knowing that she is not coming back for this holiday, I planned to go S'pore. I wish to meet her. Since she is not coming back, then I can still meet her in S'pore. I am really looking forward for it. Until that day, i received a sms on 30th October 2009 at 19:41:10
#Chu Hong?will i think but is just short period!honestly i still don't know how to face you de! Tat's why i just feel lost a burden when my mom said no need go back!i don't wan we like before with yy tat's why i choose to tell you wat's my feeling!n the most important reason not to go back at the first is because of i still can't face the situation like now!#
When I recieived this msg, my heart really broke into pieces. I know this, but I really can't take it when it is being told by yourselve. I really know this. And I choose not to contact you that often is to prevent myself to ruin our little friendship that I left in my hand. To force you to accept and face me is the best way to ruin everything. I don't want to be like that. Again, I feel like crying. To mourn for the friendship that I left with me. I don't feel like going s'pore anymore for I don't want to make myself to think so much..I will feel worse when both of us are in S'pore but cannot meet.
When you need me, I will still be there. I will stand along the road and help you up when you need me. God Bless You. I wish that you are really happy right now. I wish that everything is fine with you. I don't mind if you feel you are a lot happier without facing me. As long as you are happy, I am willing to wait.
Perhaps, you will never see this. And perhaps, you can't remember the existence of this blog. But it will always be here.
